Our Next Move: Japan
Months of planning and working towards a goal start to pay off! Our move to Japan is starting to become a reality.
Last year, Mike and I set forth into the world to find a new home for our little family. A place where we might stand a chance at creating joy despite the deep pools of grief that filled our days. We made a list of important things to us and took that list with us around the world until we found a place that made sense. It’s the third time we’ve set out with a list of what we wanted in a home, and there have been surprises every time. Our first apartment in New York City ended up being a loft with no walls - walls weren’t on the list! The ranch was stunning, but in a part of the city that wasn’t on our list of places we were most interested in living. And in Japan? Well, we don’t speak the language, but that wasn’t on the list. It’s on the other side of the world and knows only one single soul there.
A few weeks ago, I received a job offer to teach at a Japanese Conversational School. I’ll be teaching private English lessons to students of all ages – mostly on afternoons, evenings, and weekends. I will be working as a full-time employee and will receive all the benefits like paid time off, sick days, health insurance, and maternity leave. My job offer and Visa paperwork listed my start date as “May 2025” and my placement as “Japan.” In the coming weeks, I should receive my Certificate of Employment and a location assignment. This week we visited Japan and visited a few new cities, some that I listed in my application, and received positive feedback on a possible placement. The company recently announced a new school location in Fukuoka - a small city of 1.7 million people on the beach in the Kyushu region. A place I’ve only heard great things about: oyster huts pop up on the beaches in the fall, ferries to nearby islands allow access to great natural beauty, and tonkotsu ramen calls the region home. It’s not hard to build a fantasy of what life there might look like for us.
We have been putting in time and effort for months, preparing ourselves and Lincoln for a major move. Mike has been diligently figuring out how some of the really important practical stuff needs to be adjusted for life in Japan. My job has been getting a job, and I’m pretty thrilled to have a chance to teach. It may not be exactly what I had thought it would be, but I think I’ll get to try my hand at educating in an environment that will also help me learn more about Japan and Japanese people. A job where I’ll have peers that hopefully are interesting and can be part of the community that we’re going to have to work to build in our new home.
There are still more questions than answers, but I think both Mike and I feel like this change is real. We are facing weeks, not months, till we leave for our new home. I thought I would take a moment to ask and answer some questions that folks might have about this move.
Why Japan? Why do you like it?
Generally, we are excited about the prospect of living life abroad. Both Mike and I have wanted to spend time in another country. I think it will help open our minds and expand our perspectives on life here on earth. It will expose us to new cultures, languages, people, and places. It will challenge us, but in ways that we have chosen. During our years at Uber, we both had chances to do brief stints abroad; Mike in India, me in China. We had been angling to get to Amsterdam back then, but today Japan feels like the right place for us.
Japan is safe. It’s pretty interesting to feel that constant vigilance disappear. I think that my mind the past couple years has been a hostile and unsafe place. I like the idea of finding some physical safety in the world to balance out the volatility in me.
I am curious about Japan. I am curious about the people, values, history, art, infrastructure, lifestyle, and spirituality. I am very excited about the food. I think there are an unlimited number of experiences and things to fill my mind and time with that have the potential to bring me joy and expand my mind.
What about your MS?
No big deal! I’ll have to switch up my medications and establish care with a new doctor. My current neurologist is going to help me find and establish a new doctor in Japan. They are very eager to be helpful and have been able to provide me with documents stating that I am healthy and able to work in Japan.
What about Lincoln the pug?
Lincoln had a plan before the rest of us did! We started working with his vet in December to start updating his vaccinations and start the paperwork to get Lincoln into the country. Lincoln can enter Japan between June 2 and July 2. That does create a potentially interesting wrinkle if I have to move to Japan in May to start my job - Lincoln and Mike will have to make the journey without me!
Where will you live?
We don’t know yet! Hopefully, we will find out sometime in the next few weeks. Fingers crossed it’s somewhere we are excited to be and that you would be excited to come see us.
Is this forever?
Is anything forever? Mike and I have both moved so many times in our lives that I don’t know if we will ever get to a point where I will confidently be able to say that a move is forever. I think there is always a reason to pick up and go somewhere else. I’m open to whatever this move has to offer, and I don’t feel like I need to set a timeline on our life there. Friends who have lived and raised families in Japan told us that we may not want to come back! Living in Japan was great for them and their kids. And their kids agree!
What is Mike going to do?
Honestly, you should ask him! Right now, he plans to learn Japanese. He has a lot of work to do to make sure our move plays smoothly from a financial and logistical perspective. That will consume a lot of time before, during, and after our move.
What do your families think about you moving so far away?!
Again, you should ask them! But I can imagine that it’s bittersweet. It is very far from everyone that we know and love. Most of our family is happy that we are doing something for ourselves, even if they think it’s a little extreme. I know all of our parents would have much preferred us to move to Los Angeles as the big, crazy move than to Japan.
Can I come visit you?
Please come visit us! We’re still figuring out what our housing will look like but it’s the goal to get to a place where we can host guests in our home and share it with them. No matter where we’re at, we’re eager to come see anyone that comes to Japan! Let us know if you want to come to Japan and we will help plan a time to get together.
Umm… can I ask you about babies?
I know. A tender topic that I have previously asked for space on, and oh so many people have respected that request. Thanks! Yes. We are talking about what growing our family would look like in Japan, and we’re working to understand the risks and benefits. Japan is a great place to be a mother giving birth from a care perspective, a great place to be born as a baby, and a great place to have a baby as a family. They have a lot of programs that are intended to motivate the population to have kids. We’re open to it and actively considering it! It’s terrifying!
How are you guys doing?
Question of our lives. We’re okay these days! Honestly, we feel good a lot of the time. But feeling good inevitably feels bad. Grief sneaks in often, and we still find ourselves unexpectedly in tears. It’s always going to be hard to be alive without Han. I don’t think time makes it easier, but it does make it different. We may grow in ways that help us carry the burden of losing Han. Maybe.
Today we depart for Japan! We did quick layovers in San Francisco and Seattle to see friends and family on our way West. Got in some time in places we love with people we love before we’re a lot farther away.
We’ll be going to the Star Wars Celebration in Tokyo next week and visiting some new cities this weekend. I’m excited to get back to Japan and see if it makes as much of an impression as it did last year. Hope this answered your questions! If you have more, feel free to add them in the comments, and I will do my best to answer them.
Congratulations on the job offer and the possibilities becoming a reality!