Watching and waiting. And not flying to Japan. Yet.

I’m back to tell you that we’re still here! The curveballs keep coming, but we keep rolling.

Last week, we were gearing up to leave the country. Things were falling into place! All our flights had been booked. The truck was being sold. We were consolidating our finances. We were working through the final health checklists. Immigration lawyers were being consulted. Real Estate Agents were reviewing our preferences. We were golden… until Lincoln grew another tumor.

We have poured so much damn love into this pug. He is a sponge for it and has become spoiled by our overflowing love and affection. After Han died, Lincoln was a big part of what made me feel better on any given day. He’s my companion - a velcro pug who I swear is an empath. He sees me feeling low and does what he can to take care of me. He sits by my feet or demands to be let on my lap. He stares at me adoringly, and not only while I’m eating. And when I have a hard time sleeping, his snores can calm me down and bring me back to reality. Feeding him in the morning and letting him outside make sure I get out of bed at a reasonable hour. It also helps me get some sunshine and fresh air first thing in the morning. Lincoln has been loving and taking care of me in his way.

Brothers. 🩵

Mike and I were in Austin to see my neurologist one last time before we head to Japan. Afterwards, Mike flew to Vegas, and I drove to Houston. My brother was watching Lincoln for the evening and noticed a little lump forming on his side. He pointed it out to me when I got back from my neurologist appointment in Austin. I circled it with a Sharpie and texted our vet. He scheduled us to come in the next day to get it tested, but we saw him on a walk around the block in the evening, and he pulled over to get a look at it. He said it didn’t look good. Tests the next day confirmed that it was, in fact, not good. He scheduled us for surgery the next day, knowing that we didn’t have a lot of time. Lincoln had surgery, and we’ve been staring at him since then.

Lincoln this week. Me taking care of Lincoln and Lincoln taking care of me.

Lincoln’s recovery is roughly two weeks, so we’ve pushed our move back to be able to take care of him. His surgery went well, and his recovery seems to be going great. He’s already back to silly pug shenanigans: trying to jump on furniture that is too tall for him, chasing his tail, and barking at birds and planes. Last summer, we did this same song and dance, but ended up cancelling our summer in Hawaii plans. It just felt wrong to leave him. This time, we don’t have much of a choice. We have to get to Japan so we can find an apartment and I can start my new job. We decided to leave Lincoln here for the first month to six weeks so that we can get settled without having to stress about him. Fortunately, Mike’s mom is willing to help out. Mike has to come back to the country to get his visa once we have his certificate of entry, so that should all line up pretty well.

So the logistics work out fine to push our move by a week and a half. Mike is magic at planning, unplanning, and re-planning. And the extra time isn’t bad! We’re taking things slow and practicing a lot of self-care this week. I tried a new yoga studio just cause! I’m reading a book about mindfulness and self-compassion that is hitting home so hard right now. The book is Good Morning, I Love You by Shauan Shapiro. I keep toying around with writing book reviews/reports to share some of the things I’m learning, especially books that I’m finding beneficial for dealing with grief and depression. Maybe this will be the one! This book was a recommendation from my therapist, and I’m only halfway through, but I’d consider it if you’re wanting to pay some attention and do some work on your inner critic.

I’m trying to enjoy this last week or so in Texas. Spend time with my family. Soak up some quality Lincoln time. See friends. Staying present and working on myself. Looking at what I can do to be the best version of me as I take on a new adventure. I want to show up in ways that help Mike and me thrive in our new life. It’s work that I’m excited to do and have endless room to work on.